Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi
by Jezebella
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if school was taught by your favorite anime characters? The story of a University for badfic writers who get a re education in art of writing of fanfics! Inuyasha and Ranma 1 2
1. Chapter 1

The official fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi!

This is based on an idea by Camilla Sandman. It's her brilliance that thought up a University, not mine. Thanks you!

Hi, I'm Meowm. I'm reposting this fanfic that I wrote a while ago. I asked for permission when I wrote it about two years ago on but then it got taken down because it was interactive. So from now on, I guess it can't be interactive. Questions? Email me.

Cait stared at her computer screen, thinking of what to write next. She was half way through a really juicy crossover/self insertion fic. She had just typed down the part where Ranma and Inuyasha get into a big fight over who can date her, but couldn't think of whom she wanted to get her most. She paced around the floor for a couple minutes, talking to herself.

"Maybe I'll have Ataru come save me while they're busy . . . or maybe even Godai, hmm . . . this is a tough decision . . . " Finally deciding Ataru over Godai, she sat down to write it out. Scanning the page once, then twice, she realized something was wrong. "Wha . . . What the?" she muttered to herself, reading the words on the screen. They read:

Ranma and Inuyasha stared into each others eyes menacingly, while getting ready to fight. "Get back Catina!" Ranma called out to her. "You'll get hurt!"

Catina cowered back, frightened. "Be careful, Inuyasha! You too, Ranma!" Not knowing which she wanted to win, she could only watch as the two prepared to battle.

"That looks right . . . " Cait scrolled down a bit. "Whoa . . . What happened to this?"

"Hiryuu Shoten HA!"

"Claws of Blood!"

Catina watched, eyes wide open, as their battle raged on. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around. "A ... Ataru! You came to save me!"

Inuyasha and Ranma looked away from their battle for a second. "Are you trying to take her away?"

Inuyasha called over. "Maybe he is!" Catina replied.

"Actually, I'm not. I don't want her, but you can have her, Dog."

" 'Dog?' What do you mean, 'Dog?' You want to taste my claws or something? Address me correctly!" Ataru nodded fiercely "By the way, you can have her, Ranma. I don't want her either."

"I thought you did! Cause I don't! I have too many girls already. You seemed to be in trouble in the girl department. Only two girlfriends? Wow. You're pathetic." Ranma shrugged. Inuyasha was glaring a death stare at him, "Oh well. It doesn't seem to be one of your strong points. Don't feel too bad."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, you can have the girl, anyway." Ranma insisted.

"No, you." Inuyasha

"You."

"Hey, did you forget about meeeee?" Catina whined, while everyone else ignored her.

"Ok, THAT was weird. I so did NOT write that. How could Ranma and Inuyasha NOT be infatuated with me? And how dare that Ataru, being distracted from my incredibly good looks by . . . huh?" She gasped and fell back, as her computer screen started shaking. "Eeek! Is this an earth quake?" She looked at the curtains, but they weren't shaking. Puzzled, she climbed under the table like she was supposed too, waiting for it to stop. After a couple seconds, the screen stopped shaking above her. She stayed huddled for a minute, then crawled out.

"That was weird. Nothing else shook. I wonder if . . . " She stopped short, then clamped her hand over her mouth. "Who . . . who are you? What are you doing in my room!" Before her were floating several figures, robed in black. She squealed very loud. "Hentai! Get out of my room! You don't go sneaking into a girls room like that!" She was about to slap them, until one held out a folder to her. She took it, reading the title. "Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi? What?"

One of the floating people spoke in a low voice. "We have been sent here to tell you that you have been accepted into the Official Fanficiton University of Rumiko Takahashi, on account of one of the following: Unrealistic Self-Insertions, OOC Crossovers, or lemons that are just plain wrong. Do you concur that you have committed one or more of these serious offenses?"

Cait scowled. "Hey, who says my self-insertions are unrealistic, huh? Who! And my crossovers aren't either. They are perfectly fine the way they are! And my lemons are certainly NOT just wrong!"

Actually, as Cait thought about it, she realized that the might have been a TAD bit unrealistic, and some of the crossovers might have been a LITTLE bit out of character, and her lemons weren't VERY wrong, just a little, maybe a little more than that... oh well. Cait blushed. "I guess that might be true, but what is this university anyway?"

The first robed figure solemnly spoke again. "The University is a school for authors like you. It is comprised of classes establishing the importance of good grammar and spelling, keeping in character, and making crossovers and self-insertions (If you must write them at all) within reasonable terms. We're here to tell you that you're going or you're never writing fanfiction based on any of Rumiko Takahashi's works again. It's your call."

Cait squirmed, having an uncanny feeling he was smiling very evilly at her right now, but she couldn't see his (or it's) face. "What's this "University" like?" she spoke hesitantly, weighing the consequences between never writing or going to this University.

"There's information and pamphlets in the folder." The third spoke. "In a couple hours you will be taken to the university. Good night." The three jumped out the window, driving away in a turquoise Ford Angila. Cait stared after them, then she sighed and lay down on her bed. "That was one bizarre dream. I'm going to sleep." She rolled over, not bothering to get into her pajamas.

The next morning, Cait awoke with a bump on her head. Rubbing it she muttered "What time is it . . . " Next thing she knew, Cait was lying flat on the floor.

A voice over her said "Wake up, girl. I don't have all day!" Cait rubbed her eyes, and looked up. Shaking her head, she pinched herself once, then twice. "Wait . . . are you . . . " she stuttered "Are . . . are you really . . . ?"

Inuyasha scowled again. "Who do you think I am?"

Cait reached over and pulled on his ears, silently thinking 'If he's really Inuyasha, then when I--" Her thought was interrupted by a quick shove across the room.

"OWW! What are you doing! It's bad enough I was 'volunteered' to take new students to the University, do I really need my ears yanked off too?" He rubbed the spot where she had touched them. "How would you like someone tugging on your ears whenever they saw you? It's the fifth time today! Now are you coming or not?" Cait, in a daze, randomly nodded. "Then get your folder. Tell me you filled out the form?" She shook her head, no, too amazed that this was happening. "Great, just great. Oh well, it's a long trip, you can fill it out on the way here. Climb on." Inuyasha motioned to his back. Cait hesitantly did that. Suddenly, they were flying through the air as he jumped out of her window.

One hour later

"So how long till we get there?" Cait said, absentmindedly. The shock and surprise of meeting one of her favorite manga/anime characters ever had quickly diminished with the fact that hanging on to someone's back, while he was running at 80 miles an hour through the forest, was not very fun.

"I told you, girl, we'll be at the train station in a couple minutes. You were too busy to hear because you kept trying to pull on my ears!"

Cait quickly withdrew her hand from behind one and blushed. "What are you talking about? I... I never tried anything of the sort!"

"We're here." Inuyasha stopped running, and dumped her off on the ground.

Cait looked around, and saw a well in the middle of the forest clearing. "Where . . . where does that well lead to? You're not taking me to the past, are you?"

Inuyasha looked strangely at her. "We couldn't anyway, idiot. It doesn't lead to the past. Look on the side."

Cait cautiously walked around until she could see an imprinted label on the side of the well. Reading it out loud, Cait said "Property of OFURT. Only authorized OFURT staff and pupils permitted."

"Lets go now." Inuyasha picked her up by the arm. "We don't have all day!" He jumped down, and they both went down through the well.

Cait rubbed her head, then quickly got up from where she had fallen, staring with her mouth wide open at the sight before her. Inuyasha jumped up. "I hate that fall. What are you staring at?"

Cait continued gaping. Hundreds of people, most of them girls about her age, were piling onto a gigantic train. On the side read 'OFURT School Train.'

"Oh god." she thought to herself. "Then this isn't a dream." She suddenly looked down, then around her, then back down at her hands. "Oh wow, I'm . . . I'm . . . " she held up her hands to her face. "I'm like those people in an anime! I'm a cartoon!"

Inuyasha scowled. "Get used to it. Come on, you need to get on the train before everyone else does. Last one gets to share a car with Happosai and his friends."

Cait cringed at the mental image, picking up the pace. They shoved way through the crowd. As Cait stepped onto the train car, she noticed Inuyasha was walking away. "Aren't you coming?"

"I'm riding in the staff car." Looking at her confused look with disdain, her shook his head. "Make sure you fill out your form while you're on the train. It's a long way back to Japan! Also, it wouldn't hurt to read the pamphlets, and learn something about the University. Actually, it might hurt NOT to read them, Myoga gets really touchy when he finds out no one reads his pamphlets, anyway, hope you have a safe trip." He walked away, and Cait lost sight of him.

"Wait a second . . . I HOPE you have a safe trip?" Cait nervously turned around to look at the car she had just stepped into. As she felt the train start to move, the door closed behind her. Thinking frantically 'I can't get out! I hope there's no one . . . dangerous . . . in here!'

Suddenly, before she had a chance to turn and see, she felt something hit her head accompanied by a loud crash, and everything went dark.

"Gee, Patrina!" Chelsea said to her friend. "That's the third person you've mistaken for Ranma. Stop attacking everyone that walks in the door!"


	2. Chapter 2

The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi!

Thanks for your reviews! I'm not going to be one of those authors that beg for reviews, but I'd appreciate any ideas you have!

Chapter 2

Cait rubbed her head, and sat up. She had a huge bruise on her temple, and was lying across several hard, uncomfortable, plastic train seats. The last thing she remembered was being hit on the back of her head by something, and then blacking out.

"Oh, you're finally awake!"

Cait turned around to see who had spoken. There was a girl sitting next to where she had been lying.

"I'm Chelsea. Sorry Patrina knocked you on the head when she mistook you for Ranma. You're the third, no..." She sighed as a loud crash rang through the car. "Fourth today. PATRINA! Knock it off, Ranma's riding in the staff car! He's not coming!"

Patrina looked up from examining the body that she had just whacked on the head, tightening her ponytail. "But he's going to come looking for me because Akane hates him, I just know it! He can't resist me!" She brushed off her clothes. "And if he doesn't come looking for me, I'll look for him. I'm going to count to 100, and if he doesn't come, then I'll go to him. One . . . Two . . ."

Chelsea sighed again. "She's like that all the time. Totally obsessed with Ranma. Have you read any of the pamphlets about this University yet?"

Cait shook her head, "No. Inuyasha told me I'd better, or Myoga would get really mad at me."

"You got taken here by Inuyasha? Lucky." Chelsea frowned, and pulled out her folder to get out her pamphlets. "Ataru got to 'escort' me to the station. Spent half the time trying to grope me. He is the most disgusting hentai ever!"

Cait nodded, reading the pamphlets' titles. "Might as well start somewhere!" she thought to herself, picking out one at random. It read across the top 'Curriculum Overview.'

"You read that one first, and I'll read this one." Chelsea held up a brochure entitled 'Faculty and Staff.' "Then we'll switch."

Cait and Chelsea started reading, while Patrina was counting very quickly. (88, 89, 90, 91...) Cait was entranced by the brochure, as she paged through it she gaped at the courses names. "'In Character or not? How to tell.' 'Japanese names: spelling and meanings' 'Self Insertion or Mary-Sue?'" She thumbed through the pamphlet. "Bizarre..."

"Is yours as weird as mine?" Chelsea's eyes were staring intently on the page she was reading. "Looks like all the staff are... no that couldn't be... never mind." She put it back into her folder, shaking her head.

A voice rang out through a speaker on the ceiling. "The train will be arriving at OFURT in 10 minutes. Please have all forms filled out by then and your luggage ready to go."

Chelsea and Cait got their bags together, and hurriedly started filling in the admission form. "Let's see..." Cait thought to herself "Name: Cait Wilson. Age: 16. Species: Human. Huh?" She looked at the other choices, including Alien, Demon, Half-demon, Jusenkyo cursed (Please specify) and Other. "Bizarre..." she said again to herself. There were other strange questions like that, such as "Do you find enjoyment in stealing underwear/groping/asking people to bear you child?" and "Do you have an uncanny intolerance of cats?" She answered no to both of them, wondering why they would be on the form.

After Cait finished it, she put the form back into the folder and stood up as the train came to a stop. After getting off, she and the other students were ushered over to the registration tables. Cait gave them her form, then walked over to where everyone else was gathering, in front of a podium. After a couple of minutes, all the students were watching, and as the noise quieted down, they saw someone step up to the podium. Gasps were heard from the audience. Someone murmured near Cait. "That couldn't be... Ranma!"

"Hello, students. Welcome to The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi." Ranma smiled at everyone, while reading off a peace of paper. A couple people were standing behind him. Cait noticed Akane, Inuyasha, Miroku, Lum, and Ataru. "You have been summoned here to this University to refine your Fanfiction skills, which are not exactly up to par for some rea--" That was as far as he got, noticing about 50 fangirls pulling on him.

"Hey... what are you doing? Get off me!" he said, trying to kick them off, but more kept coming. Akane walked over with her mallet, ready to kill, but Ranma grabbed her arm. "We're not supposed to hurt students, stupid!"

"Well, get someone else to do the speech then, idiot! I don't want them all hanging on you!" She started shooing away several girls still clinging on to him, while getting many dirty looks.

"I'll do it. I'm a better speaker than you anyway, Ranma!" Inuyasha tore the piece of paper from his hand, with little protest from Ranma, who was busy trying to convince three rather persistent girls to go away peacefully, before Akane got out her mallet again.

"Here at this University, we will teach you- oh forget this peace of crap." he said, tearing up the paper. "We get to teach you lousy excuses for writers what it's like for us, and how to write a good fanfic. As you probably noticed, you have been given schedules. Memorize them quickly, because I'm not going to take any excuses for any who's late for my class, and neither should any of the other teachers!" Bewildered and puzzled looks came from the audience, except the ones that had read the brochure about the faculty. Cait heard Chelsea say "So it was right..." from behind her.

"Read that stuff, before Myoga gets on your tail. He gets very touchy about that. Yes, all the teachers are people from Rumiko Takahashi's manga, and (unfortunately) appear in you stories!" Murmurs form the crowd were questioning why they were teaching classes and making a University.

"Because..." Inuyasha grimaced, and faked a sob. "Do you know how horrible it is to read a story about you self that's all wrong? I've seen thousands where I abandon Kagome and chase after a random girl that pops in, and ones where I kill her, and ones where I... well, I shouldn't say it in front of you all, but. . ."

He paused, and noticed everyone was staring intently at him. "AND YOU ALL ARE THE ONES THAT WROTE THEM!" He looked daggers at them, until Miroku whispered something about 'anger management counseling' and he settled down. "Someone else do this, I don't want to anymore. The thought of those pathetic excuses for--" he mumbled some more, and started to walk off, until he noticed that Ranma's fangirls had gotten tired of him, and were now clinging onto Inuyasha's legs. He tried to kick them off, and while hopping around on one foot, called.. "Ataru, Lum, why don't you two take it." Immediately all the guys who hadn't been paying attention looked up sharply, as the two approached the mike.

"Yeah, well, a lot of your fics are pretty bad, sorry to say it." Ataru hesitantly spoke up, with Lum hovering a couple feet above the ground, next to him. "Except for the lemons. Well, some of those aren't that great with plots, especially the ones with me, but the rest are great! What about that one with Lum and Sakura, hm? Who wrote that, it was grea--" Lum cut him off sharply with a shove.

"What he means is that all your lemons are totally wrong. And the person who wrote that one with me and... please come up here so I can... never mind, I'm not allowed kill you. Oh well, I'll fail you automatically if I found out who it is." Several guilty looking boys were whispering together, trying to figure out which Lum/Sakura she was talking about, while the rest has scooted to the front, drooling at Lum's sexy figure. She frowned at them. "What are you looking at?" They sighed at the sound of her voice, while Ataru was trying to attract some of Inuyasha's fangirls, none of which would come near him.

Akane was getting tired of it, so pushing Lum away from the microphone, she decided to finish up the announcement. "You have each been assigned a dorm. It's number is on you schedule. Boys dorms are on the East side, Girls on the West. You will each have a roommate, (No switching) and... question?" Akane pointed to Patrina, who was shyly raising her hand.

"Akane? I have a question about the dorms arrangement."

"Yes? What is it?"

"Well, If the girls dorms are on the west side, and the boys on the east, then which side does Ranma sleep on?" The entire student body gasped as Ranma's eyes started watering up as he sniffled. Not getting it, Patrina continued. "I mean, does he have a dorm on both sides for when he is one or the other? But the girls might get kind of upset with a boy sleeping with them, even if he was currently a girl." Everyone started trying to shut her up, but she kept talking. "Does he just take a bath before he goes to bed? Because the boys might not be ok with sleeping with a girl (Well, Miroku and Happosai might)" Miroku shook his head in disgust. "Or maybe neither side wants him. Does he have his own side of the dorm?"

Ranma looked at her with teary eyes. "You're so mean!"

Akane looked daggers at Patrina, mouthing 'Shut up now' "I'll clarify something now. The staff dormitories are on the North side. Do NOT try to enter them, they are guarded night and day, so anyone trying to sneak up there will probably not make it out again... another question?" A girl named Pansy was raising her hand.

"Who's Ranma's roommate?"

Akane blushed along with Ranma. "NO MORE QUESTIONS!" Snickering was heard among some of the students. "From now on, no more first names. I am your teacher, so you will call me Ms. Tendo. Same goes with everyone else." Suddenly she clenched her fists, as she stared at one more raised hand. In a forced nice voice she loudly said. "What... is... your... question!"

"Shouldn't it be "Mrs. Tendo?" I mean, you are married, aren't you and Ranma?"

Akane flushed red, then got out her mallet, and jumped over to where the raised hand was standing."Now I remember why I wanted this University. People keep saying I'm married. NOW YOU DIEEEEE!" Ranma was looking ashamedly down at the ground while Akane pushed her way through the crowd. "Who asked that question? You're dead!" She pressed through until she came to the spot where the soon to be dead questioner stood. Akane dropped the mallet in surprise, then furiously barked "What do you think you're doing, dad? You too, Mr. Saotome!"

Mr. Tendo and Saotome were standing there, laughing. "Almost caught you there, Mrs. Tendo!"

"Shut up! You know good and well we're not married, and will you stop trying to force me into it! Now leave! You don't belong here, there are no fanfics hurting your image!"

Several voices in the crowd disagreed. "What about that one where he does Nodoka?" "Or that lemon where he and Kasumi are..." "I remember the one where Mr. Tendo and Saotome 'more than training partners' together... "

"Ok, I stand corrected. Leave. Now." Akane jumped back over to the podium. "Oh yes, one more thing. You can't write any fanfiction about any of us" she motioned to the five (Not counting Ranma, who was holding his head in embarrassment in a corner) "or any of Rumiko Takahashi's manga till you graduate. Anyone who does will... suffer." All those present smiled very evilly, while the students wondered in fear what the consequences were.

"Go to your dorms now. Go straight there, we don't want you getting lost." Miroku instructed the students, as they all clamored up the stairs to the dorms.

Cait flopped down on her bed. Boy, was she tired. But that was the most interesting school assembly she had ever seen. What a good question- which side of the dorms would Ranma sleep on? She was so busy pondering, Cait hardly noticed the door opening. She sat straight up, hearing it slam behind itself. "Hello...?" she said uncertainly, not seeing anyone in the room. She heard something scratching on the ceiling, Cait investigated the noise by standing up on a chair. "Eeek! A squirrel!" Cait banged the squirrel away with her arm. She noticed it was acting funny though, despite just having been tossed down, it seemed to be... writing in the carpet? Cait bended down, reading "Hot water please" Puzzled with what a squirrel in her dorm would want with hot water, she got up to get some, grabbing a plastic cup from on top of her dresser.

After filling it with hot water in the bathroom, Cait returned to find the squirrel lying down on the other bed. She tried to talk to it, wondering if it could understand what she was saying. "Um... hi... why do you want this--" The squirrel grabbed the cup, but dropped it on accident. Cait stepped back in astonishment. Where the squirrel had been lying, now sat a girl with bright yellow hair and a frown on her face. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself. Cait stared at her. "You... you..."

She then smiled at Cait. "Hi. I'm Pia." She stuck out her hand. "Guess I'm your roommate." She looked strangely at Cait when she didn't shake her hand. "Oh, are you still freaked out about the squirrel? I put 'Jusenkyo cursed: Rabid squirrel' on my form just for fun. I didn't know it would really happen. Kinda strange, it's been happening all day. It's really hard to find hot water when you're a squirrel, I guess I freaked out a couple people in the bathroom a couple hours ago, until someone splashed me at the water fountain..." she kept on talking and talking, while Cait started wondering what it would be like living with a Girl/Rabid squirrel as her roommate.

With all this commotion and excitement, at least she knew she wouldn't be bored at this University.


	3. Chapter 3

OFURT chapter 3

Tidbit: I've posted this on too, under the username Meowm so if you would like to go there, it's a decent enough site.

Cait was hurrying to her next class. She was already late because Pia had gotten splashed with water during breakfast, so Cait had to go get some hot water and find where the rabid squirrel Poia was hiding to avoid getting stepped on. She eventually found her under a table, clinging onto one of the seats. Then Cait had to get some clothes for her, and carry her up to their room. That was why she was late.

She quickly glanced at her schedule. "Day one, period one. 9:15 'In Character or Out of Character' Room 318." It was already 9:20. She rushed up the stairs to the third floor, and rushed to room 318. She peeked in. The class had already started.

Cait walked nervously to an empty seat in the back of the classroom, while half the class had turned around to look at her. She sat down quickly and put her books down. The teacher turned around. Cait stared at the teacher's purple robes and staff. "Why are you late um... what's your name? You have interrupted my class!" Miroku glared at her.

Cait realized that was a question. "Cait Wilson, sorry. My roommate is cursed and I had to get..."

Miroku dismissed it with a wave. "Forget it. Just be on time from now on. Get out your notebook, and pay attention to my lecture! This is your first class." Cait noticed everyone had started taking notes already, so she got her notebook out. "...and although I am only a substitute, there WILL be a test on this later."

Cait glanced over to the person next to her. "Could I borrow your notes for the part I missed?" she asked quietly.

The girl next to her smiled, and nodded. "Sure, I'll make a copy later and give it to you."

Cait stared at her for a second. Her black hair was back in a pony tail, and it had a blue streak in it. Her skin was very pale, but what really got Cait's attention was her webbed hands. Looking down at her feet, her guess was that her feet were the same. Cait wondered out loud. "What's with the hands?" before realized the girl was listening. She clapped her hands over her mouth, and apologized embarrassedly "I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking..." Her face was flushed red, but the girl next to her just smiled.

"That's all right, everyone asks that. My Name is Ivy, but you can call my Kisa." She straightened her ponytail. "I put down Witch/Nereid on my application, and, well, I'm like this." She held up her hand.

"Wow!" Cait marveled. "You're not angry? I mean, I thought you would be angry if I asked, but no, you totally fine! That's neat!"

Kisa smiled calmly again. "I'm taking anger management counseling. I have been since 39 people asked me in one hour. 39... in one hour! I think there still might be something left of that train car... I hope so." Cait inched away. What else could a girl with a temper like that do? Kisa continued. "Inuyasha's in my counseling class though. That makes anything worth while. I keep trying to get him to admit his love for Kagome, but..." she sighed. "He's almost as stubborn as I am, especially about her. He is such a wimp! Why can't he just tell her that..." Kisa was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder.

"Can you continue your conversation sometime outside my class?" Miroku frowned down at the two of them.

Cait apologized, realizing she hadn't taken notes, but noticed Miroku wasn't listening. Instead, he was busy groping Kisa's chest. She was looking redder and madder each second.

WHACK WHACK WHACK "Screw anger counseling!" Kisa stomped on Miroku's head several times, then slapped him, and malleted him, and then whacked him several more times. "No wonder you don't have any fangirls!" she yelled. Then Kisa sat calmly back in her seat. She noticed everyone in the class was staring at her. "Sometimes I have relapses." she pointed out, as though it was obvious.

Miroku got back up, adjusted his robes, and tried to make himself as presentable as one could be, covered in hand and foot prints. "Now let's return to my lecture, class." Pointing to Kisa, he said sternly "Meet me after class. We'll talk."

Kisa glared at the voyeur teacher. "You'd better not be planning anything else, are you?"

"How dare you accuse me of something like that. Detention."

Kisa was taken aback as she gaped at Miroku, then suddenly exploded. "You can't give me a detention! I have contacts! I have connections! I'll... ooooohh!" She was about to whack Miroku again, until Cait grabbed her arm.

"Settle down, or he'll get you in more trouble!" They both noted Miroku had already filled out one detention slip, and had another in hand.

"No more trouble from any of you, or I'll break the no-hurting-students rule." Miroku picked up his notes, and prepared to start speaking again.

"Since apparently no one was listening, I will have to start from the beginning. This class is to teach you about keeping your characters in character when you write a story. This is not my official class, I am just your substitute. Your real teacher will teach as soon as possible, but until then, it's me." He gave all the girls a dirty grin, as they cringed.

"The purpose of this class is... oh wait already said that..." Miroku thumbed through his notes, while the class watched. He stared at a page, then started to draw a diagram on the white board behind him. "This" he said loudly, pointing to a badly drawn picture of Kagome. "is your character. Now say you're going to have your character, Kagome, fall in love with someone, let's see, who should we have it be?" He pondered for several seconds, while some students were whispering between themselves. Miroku leaned toward a group who were saying something about Kagome secretly liking Inuyasha, and he snorted. "Come on, think of something original, class. Everyone knows they have a thing for each other, but we're looking for something improbable to use in this example. How about... Sessho-maru! Now that is a perfect example of someone Kagome would never fall in love with. Now let's say Kagome is..." he paused, staring at the group of students he had just listened to. "What's the problem, here?"

One reluctantly spoke up. "I thought you wanted something unrealistic?"

Miroku cleared his throat. "Yes. That is. Why?"

"Well... that's not very improbable."

Miroku scowled at the kid. "What is probable about it, then?"

The kid, feeling braver, spoke up again. "Well, everyone knows Kagome likes a guy that is cold-hearted, ruthless, and totally anti-social. She thinks he's hunky, so she lusts him from afar. Didn't you ever notice how she gets whenever he's around?"

Miroku was getting infinitely more irritated by the second. When the PO'd mark on his forehead looked like it was about to explode, he calmly coughed, and looked down peacefully at the kid, who was inching backwards. "No. That's not it. Sessho-maru is anti-social and does not like Kagome like that." He smiled a very sickeningly forced smile at him. "Anyone who has ever seen or been near him can realize that."

A couple girls sighed romantically. "You mean he's here?" one excitedly piped up.

Miroku gaped at their excitement. "And you're happy about that? You should be scared. A bunch of girls tried to get him to go out with them yesterday..." he paused, trying to remember what had happened. "I... think their body parts are all intact now, but there was that one whose head was... anyway, don't mess with him. He is having a very inamicable streak, and is more upset than most of us at being dragged into teaching at this University, but he was pretty upset when he found out the number of Sessho-maru/Kagome fics there were floating about. He almost blew up the faculty lounge after reading 'Sessho-chan' for the hundredth time. I hope you don't have his class anytime soon... he's still pretty peeved that people think he has a soft side... of course, no one here thinks that right?" He looked optimistically at the students' despondent faces. Realizing they did, Miroku decided they better just keep going with the lesson.

"Now, let's say this happened right after Inuyasha uses the Wind scar against Sessho-maru. He's lying in the forest, really weak, right?" Some of the students nodded, the others kept writing in their notes. "Let's say Kagome just happens to wander upon him. I have a good idea." He grinned evilly. "Let's reenact this! John, you can pretend to be Sessho-maru, Ms. Wilson, you can be Kagome. Come on up, now!"

Cait realized she was being called, and got up hastily. A boy across the room got up too. Cait subconsciously wondered what he had put down for species, but dropped it. She'd ask later.

Miroku smiled evilly again. "Now John, you pretend to be hurt. Lie down." John nodded, then did a dramatic pose, feigning a faint (tee hee... feigning a faint .) onto the ground. The mood was broken, though, when his head cracked against the hard floor covered by a thin carpet. He propped himself up and massaged his head. Miroku sighed. "Good enough. Now, Ms. Wilson, pretend you are Kagome, and you accidentally stumble upon John (who is Sessho-maru) in the woods."

Cait slowly walked over to John, who was doing a very fake grimace of pain, and nervously said "I would get away as fast as I could. If I'm Kagome, Sessho-maru has tried to kill me several times, and I wouldn't try to get close to him, let alone take pity on him!" She took a couple of steps back, hoping she had gotten the right answer.

Miroku nodded. "Good. You may sit down now." While Cait and John returned to their seats, Miroku continued to write on the board more about staying in character. After he was done, he looked at the clock on the wall, and said "You only have five minutes left, so I'll give you your homework."

Miroku smiled wickedly once more, as he wrote down their lengthy homework assignments, which covered several of the chalk boards. Several students groaned, others moaned, and the rest whacked their heads with their weighty textbook "In or out of Character? A guide to OOC"

Suddenly, something hit Miroku in the back of the head. He crumpled to the ground, while the rest of the class cringed at the old man who had just head-butted him.

"Cherry..." a couple cringed.

The old man frowned at them over Miroku's still body. A note was pinned to his head. Some students in the front row bent forward to read it. "1) Substitute teachers may not assign homework. 2) Substitute teachers may not assign detentions. 3) No molesting students. Three strikes, you're out, Miroku!"

"I can't believe the only thing I'm good for around here is carrying notes to inept teachers." He picked up Miroku, and put him onto a large cart out in the hall, full of motionless bodies. "The hospital wing is going to have a lot of work to do with all these teachers. Poor Tofu-sensei... what am I thinking... poor students!" He shook his head sadly. "More than half the teachers have proved themselves unworthy of their jobs today!" he said, addressing the class. "And I think Miroku was really trying... on second thought..." Cherry looked at the homework assignment on the board. "Maybe he wasn't. You'll get someone else next time, don't worry though." He wheeled the loaded cart out of the room, humming softly.

The class, speechless, got their books silently and sneaked out of class early. Once they were safely out in the hall, Cait went up to John, still intent on asking her question. "Hey, John, what did you put down for your species?"

John said "Well, it's kind of silly... I put Martial Artist/Martial Artist Chaos Control."

"What?"

"It means I can attack like a regular Martial artist, but..." he paused.

"Yeah?" Cait was interested.

"I really... can't tell what they'll do." He blushed. "Once, I started involuntarily doing poses, and accidently poured water on the person sitting next to me!"

Cait was really starting to regret not putting down "Jusenkyo cursed-please specify" under species. It seemed she was practically the only normal one around here.

Peering at her schedule, she scanned it to see what other classes she had today. After a couple strange sounding ones, like "Wilderness Orienteering-Ryoga" and "Archery-Kikyo, Kagome" she stopped short at the sight of her second afternoon class.

"No..." she gasped to herself. "That... that can't be allowed!"

Several students around her were looking grim too. Pia, seeing Cait with her schedule, came up to her and whispered "Do you have that too?" Cait nodded. Pia sighed. "Might as well make the best of it. Seems it's not a joke." She went off to get her books, and Cait jumped out of her dazed state.

"Lingerie modeling-Happosai girls only)

Note

Cait's day-1 schedule goes like this:

Day 1:

Period 1: 9:15-10:15 "In Character or Out of Character?" (Teacher Not Present)

Period 2: 10:30-11:30 "Wilderness Orienteering" Ryoga Hibiki

Lunch: 11:30-12:30

Period 3: 12:45-1:45 "Archery" Kikyo, Kagome

Period 4: 2:00-3:00 "Lingerie Modeling" Happosai girls only


	4. Chapter 4

Classes, Counseling Summons, and the Mystical Duck of Romance!

Cait flopped down onto her bed. Her first day had been totally exhausting.

Having Ryouga teach "Wilderness Orienteering" was a big mistake. He kept getting the whole class lost... on the tennis courts. He once had the class break up into search parties to look for him. They had found him behind a dumpster the first time he got lost. They found him under a trash can the second, a bench the third... so on and so on.

What was really interesting about Ryouga's Wilderness Orienteering class was that Robert (Most people called him Zeppo) had fallen into the spring of the drowned Hibiki martial artist. His uncanny resemblance to Ryouga got the class mixed up with them several times. The class on the whole, was much more happy with him, than with Ryouga's directionally challenged ways. At least Zeppo wasn't getting lost from the class he was supposed to be teaching.

Lunch was quite uneventful compared to class, excluding several attempts to tackle attractive staff members. Lum was the most pestered, almost every single male in the dining hall had attempted to make a move on her, or at least ask her out. She was very frustrated, and was about to attack them all, but Cherry hit her in the back of the head with another "No attacking students" notice, and took her away onto the cart to the emergency anger management session

"Archery" with Kikyo and Kagome was... interesting, to say the least. Most of the class took sides on which deserved Inuyasha more. Kisa and Pandachan got into a huge fight over that, eventually culminating in them both going to the emergency anger management class.

Cait wondered if they had done it on purpose to get out of "Lingerie modeling" with Happosai. It was very possible.

Kikyo and Kagome showed the students how to shoot on a target, and kept getting bulls eye after bulls eye. In fact, they had shot so many arrows to the direct center it looked like a wooden Christmas tree. The students had been definitely struggling though. One hit the side of his target, and another got a direct bulls eye. It wasn't on his target, but that didn't matter.

The two teachers were trying very hard to appear to be on amicable terms, but it was hard not to notice Kikyo's repetitive "accidental" firing of arrows at Kagome, or Kagome's "accidental" firing at her. They smiled very nicely, and apologized very nicely, and did it again in a minute. And again. Eventually Kikyo got a shot on Kagome's arm, although it only got a bruise, she jumped onto her and they started a cat-fight, before Cherry reappeared carrying a counseling summons.

Now, Cait cringed, all the girls in their class were to go to room 216 for... Lingerie modeling... Everyone had tried at least one way to get out of it. There were fake medical notes with excuses, sudden broken bones, collapsing, one girl even tried to get out of it by getting a detention, but she still had to go. Several teachers were chuckling evilly about what detention was going to be, and Cait decided she didn't want to find out.

After a verrrrrry slow walk to the room, they opened the door, which had a banner saying "Welcome girls!" on it. Once they entered, Cait had a sudden urge to run away and hide under a rock which Ryouga was currently lost under. It was decorated with Hentai photos, girls in bikinis, and Victoria's secret posters. A very perverted old man, Happosai, was sitting in the middle of the room on top of a large pile of underwear.

"Come on in girls! It's time to start your lesson!" He grinned very wide.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Then entire class ran out.

"Come back in, or I'll have to give you detention!" Their faces of disgust mingled with the horror of whatever the teachers were planning for detention. Cait was starting to get the impression they didn't like the students very much. She and the rest of the class reluctantly walked back in.

"Good, now take off your clothes, and put these on!" Happosai held up a pair of crotch-less panties.

WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK

Kisa was back, looking madder than ever. "I thought I smelled something perverted around here..."

A serene looking Akane and Sango were following her. Sango spoke placidly "Come on, now, Kisa, we were just getting to really understand how your emotions take control of you...come now, we must continue with the class..." Sango suddenly scowled at Happosai, who was still holding the underwear, and stomped on his head several times, before taking hold of Kisa by the pony tail, and dragged her down the hall to a happy looking door labeling "Anger management counseling."

Akane was standing by the door, twitching. She suddenly picked up a nearby table, and hurled it at Happosai, who was still clutching the panties. "Filthy perverted old man!" She stomped on him several more times, before collecting herself and calmly walking out the door to the Anger management counseling room.

The class watched her go, before taping up Happosai in a cardboard box, and throwing him out the window.

Cait had her schedule on the wall of her dorm. She noticed she had free time now (4:00-5:00) and dinner was after that. Checking her watch, which said 4:45, she started wondering where Pia was. Her question was answered when a certain rabid squirrel started clawing outside the door, demanding entrance. Cait opened it for her, and went to go get some hot water. When she returned, Pia the rabid squirrel was busy trying to tape up a big sign that said "Pia+Mousse 4ever," which was decorated with pictures of a duck and a rabid squirrel in one big red heart.

"What the..." Cait splashed the water onto Pia. "Pia+Mousse 4ever? What's the meaning of this!" Pia grabbed a bathrobe and pulled it on.

"I'm just expressing my devotion to my one and only duck of romance!" Pia smiled sweetly at her picture of Mousse, while tacking up a life-size cut out of him in battle pose.

Cait was in shock. "'Duck of Romance?' Mousse? You like him?"

Pia stared at her accusingly. "I am infatuated with my semi-blind martial artist. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No..." Cait mentally cringed. Mousse.. was just... eww. She couldn't picture liking him, let alone tacking up giant poster of a "Mousse-duck of Romance" on her wall, which Pia was sighing over.

"My adorable, mistreated Mousse... can't you leave Shampoo and realize I'm the only one for you..." Pia looked adoringly into the poster's eyes.

"Hey, Pia" Cait suggested "If you like him so much, why don't you just tell him?" She immediately regretted saying that.

"Great ideaaaaaa!" Pia jumped up from her poster, and ran to check her schedule. "I have him tomorrow! He teaches..." she narrowed her eyes. "Water sports? With Akane?"

Cait was starting to wonder who assigned these classes.

"Well, it doesn't matter if he's a duck, then he can't run away from me any longer..." She grinned evilly. Cait was beginning to get used to those.

"Don't tell me you were one of the students that tried to tackle someone yesterday..."

"Yup, and proud of it!"

Cait decided to go down to dinner, which was starting in several minutes. She hoped nothing would...

"RANMAAAAAAA!"

Cait knew it was too much to ask.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON THE GIRLS' SIDE OF THE DORM, YOU HENTAI!"

"I swear, I wasn't doing anything, Akane!" Ranma was running away, just out of Akane's mallet's range.

"You don't belong on there! You're a guy, it doesn't matter if you happen to be a girl at the time! I leave you alone for five minutes and...RRRGGGHH!" Akane was yelling while running after the fleeing Ranma in quick pursuit.

"Aww, come on. Can't we talk this out peacefully?" He stopped running and smiled.

"Anger management counseling is rubbing off on you, Ranma!" She hit him on the head with her mallet. "Now, let's talk."

Ranma rubbed his head. "After you hit me you say that..." he sighed. "Well it wasn't my fault and you knew that."

"Yes it was, you were over on the girls' side. What were you doing over there!"

"Well, I needed some hot water, but when I went into the guys side..." he blushed. "Everyone kept... I mean... they're GUYS, and I was a girl... in the guys room... so..."

"Hentai! You DO need your own side of the dorm."

Cait quietly sneaked away, hoping she wouldn't be caught in their argument. Students who had been run over by Akane and Ranma's chase had their motionless bodies littering the corridor. If they got... never mind. Cherry had just arrived with another note taped to his head, to escort them to yet another Anger Management Counseling session.

At dinner most of the students were worn out from their first day at the University. Some unlucky ones had gotten Phys Ed with Inuyasha... they were looking pretty beat up. Noting his mood the other day, Cait guessed he wouldn't be very "nice" with the students. Then again, maybe anger management was rubbing off on him too. But, noting Kisa's, Akane's, Ranma's, and Sango's temperaments... maybe not.

Anger management counseling sure did have a lot of relapses.

At dinner, Cait sat at a table with several kids from her class. Pia was a squirrel once more, and kept clawing Shampoo's head. Shampoo was about to strangle her, but Cherry delivered her a note in the nick of time. She had to ask at least three times what "management" and "counseling" meant, but eventually got what it was.

Lum was trying to free herself of the multitude of boys trying to get a seat near her. She was repetitively asked to pass the salt, or the ketchup, or the napkins. One boy even went so far as to drop his fork near her, and asked her to please bend down and get it for him. Lum finally got the picture, and after kicking several of the boys in the face, received another invitation to Anger Management counseling.

John was sitting near Cait. He kept involuntarily doing silly poses and dramatic attack sequences, one which involved cracking the table in half with one pinky, while twirling around and jump-kicking the person next to him, who happened to be Kisa, in the mouth. Kisa was so mad she whacked him back several times. They got into a repetitive brawl which lasted several minutes. Kisa whacked Cherry when he appeared with their counseling summons, and received two instead of one. "Oh well..." she grumbled. "At least I have detention to look forward to."

After an hour of all this, the only people left at the staff table that were not in the emergency counseling session were Kasumi, Shippo, Cherry (Who had to deliver the notes), Soun, Kaede, and one or two others. About half the students were gone too. Cait wondered how they fit all those people in one room, and what went on in there...

Sue the mediator: smiles Well, we seem to have some new faces today! How are you all feeling?

Inuyasha: Smashed. glares at numerous people squished against him

Akane: PO'd. mallets Ranma

Lum: Violated. pounds Miroku's groping hands

Kikyo: The need for vengeance. frowns at Kagome

Ataru: Like I...spots cute blond Hey there, sweetie! How about a date?

Cait then decided she didn't want to know.

After dinner, the students had time to do their homework. Cait looked over her assignment book, seeing the only work she had (since Miroku hadn't been allowed to give them any, and Happosai's class had ended prematurely) was to be able to hit a target from 20 feet away, and to be able to find your way from your dorm to the front door in less than one hour. That was easy! Well, Cait thought, maybe she'd have to practice a bit with the arrow thing, but she had an entire week until her next archery class! Great, so what could she do with her extra time?

She shouldn't have even asked.

At that instant, a crash and scream were heard throughout the floor.

"The water main has broken! Run, ye Jusenkyo cursed!" Kaede was standing in the middle of the hall, shouting warnings. Since the majority of the students transformed into something with cold water, they hurried to the elevators and pressed the button. Since this was the fifth floor, out of six, the elevator took forever to get up here, and was usually full. Cait cursed whoever had designed a dorm for hundreds of students with only four elevators. And since two were on the boys' side, that means only two elevators for the girls. Several screeches were heard as the water began spraying in all directions, and transformed the multitude of Jusenkyo cursed students into whatever they were cursed as.

"What were ye thinking!"

"I was only trying to drill a hole to the mens' bathroom... it's not like it's a big deal or anything, I mean, no one was hurt!"

Cait notice Kaede was reprimanding a guilty looking student in a corner. She walked closer to get a better look. The girl had pink hair in one gigantic ponytail on top of her head. She looked only about 13, and was arguing with Kaede that trying to drill a tunnel to the mens' bathroom was a legitimate excuse for busting a water main on accident.

"Ye shall have Detention, child!"

"Whaaaat? But I've never gotten detention! I've got excellent grades and a perfect record! Why am I getting a detention? Sure, I tried to drill a tunnel through to the mens' bathroom, but so what? Guys are always bragging about who..." Kaede quickly cut her off.

"I feel sorry enough for ye, who shall be victim to a most grievous punishment some of my colleagues are scheming up, methinks you do not deserve further punishment by attending an emergency Anger Management Counseling meeting?"

"No thank you... I've heard the rumors about those..." The girl shivered.

"Then run along now... what is thy name?" Kaede asked.

"Dana Scully."

"Your real one please. I need to fill out your Detention slip."

"Cindy Crawford."

Kaede sighed. "I'm not that naive. Tell me your name!"

"All right, all right. It's Marshall Mathers."

"No it's not."

"Mary J. Blige."

"If you don't tell me, I"ll..."

10 minutes later

"My name is Alicia Keys! Honest!"

Kaede sighed. "Tell me your REAL name."

Gina shook her head. "I already told you, it's Alicia Keys!"

"Aha!" Kaede said triumphantly

"What?" Gina asked.

"Your name is Gina!"

"How could you tell?" Gina said, defeated at last.

"I read the text."

flashback

Kaede sighed. "Tell me your REAL name."

GINA shook her head. "I already told you, it's Alicia Keys!"

"Aha!" Kaede said triumphantly

end flashback

"GINA, now you will receive double detention for trying to trick a teacher." Kaede frowned at her. "And extra homework from my class. And you will stay after class in your free time to wipe the board. And sharpen pencils. And..."

Gina stared blankly as Kaede lengthened the list of extra tasks for her.

Cait winced, pitying the poor girl.

"Note to self- never try to trick a teacher."


	5. Chapter 5

Cait's next couple days went by surprisingly fast, compared to her first day.

On Tuesday Akane had taught them in Cooking class. Cait decided she was going to find whoever signed her up for that and strangle them with Akane's dumplings. After cooking their own dishes, Akane had them partner up and taste their partner's. Since much of the class was not adjusting very well, and currently in counseling, they had an odd number, and Akane had "volunteered" to be Cait's partner. Of course, Cait had to taste hers in return. Her tongue had been numb since. She vaguely wondered how long it would take for her taste buds to regrow.

Biking class on Wednesday was actually fun. They were each given a tricycle, and told to ride once around the track. Although Cait did it with ease, several students fell over and were sent to the infirmary for head injuries. Benten was there to teach racing bikes, and Kagome, who was always riding her bike in the feudal age, offered tips on cross-country biking and such.

Thursday was the last day of fear for detention, as all of the week's detentions were served on Friday. The iota of students without one strived to be good for one more day. It was so hard, though, not to attempt to hug your favorite character ever if he/she's sitting right next to you. Now, with only Friday left to go, the students remaining DT-free felt sure they could withstand the temptation and escape the horrible plan the teachers had cooked up, hoping next week there wouldn't be one quite so bad.

Cait was still free of detention. It was mainly her fear of the evil grins the staff had been giving the past few days that kept her from making rude remarks about who deserved Inuyasha more, or hitting on some of the attractive male faculty. She had come very close to getting one, when Pia was in trouble for ripping up a poster of a dorky looking Mousse, and had come scampering into the dorm. The owner of the poster started hollering about "harboring criminals" and threatening to report her, but Cait "donated" one of Pia's posters to her, and she went away. Pia still wasn't talking to Cait after that.

Now it was Friday, and to celebrate the first week at this new University, there was going to be... a dance! All the students were really hyped up, until they found out that detention would be served simultaneously with the dance, so that if you had detention, you couldn't go to the dance. The entire student body was quickly falling into a state of depression, until Friday's breakfast. It had been during morning announcements, when the notice was made.

"Attention students!" Ataru's voice rang though the microphone. "You've probably all been wondering about tonight's dance and detention overlapping."

Many students groaned at the thought of the ominous detention hanging over their heads.

"Well, we've decided to change the schedule a little bit. Detention will start at 7:30, and continue for two hours. The dance will start at 8:30, and continue for two hours. So after serving your detention, if you still want to, you may go to the last hour of the dance! Sound fair?"

Cheers were heard from the crowd. "You mean we can still go to half of it!" Kisa exclaimed.

"If you still want to, that is. You may prefer to go to bed early." Ataru smiled sweetly.

"No way!" Everyone was excited. They could still go to the dance!

That day, the dance was all anyone talked about. Rumors circulated about vast amounts of food and sodas for the students, a light-up dance floor, and many other fun things. Cait, Kisa, John, and Zeppo decided they would go together. Chelsea and Patrina were coming too. Pia was so busy trying to capture Mousse "The duck of romance" she almost considered skipping the dance, until she realized she still had detention from the breakfast incident, and decided to go anyway. Out of their group, Cait was the only one without detention. Kisa, of course, got one in Miroku's class, John accidentally turned Ranma into a girl while doing his funky poses, and then Kuno started chasing Ranma, who later gave him a detention for that. Zeppo got a detention from Ryouga, for looking too much like him and being better at wilderness orienteering than he was. That changed after Zeppo got cold water splashed onto him, and became as lost, if not more lost, than Ryouga himself. Cait was excited the most, first of all because she wouldn't be subjected to the horror of whatever the teachers were planning, and she got a full hour more of the dance than almost everyone else!

Until first period. Poetry with Tatewaki Kuno.

"Good morning, class!" Kuno came in, smiling, dressed up in what looked like an ancient samurai costume. "In this class you will learn how to write epic, dramatic, comedy, and most importantly... romantic poetry!" Most of the class groaned loudly. One said something like "girls have cooties!" but Kuno ignored him.

"Now, do any of you have any experience in the great and classic art of poetry?" Several shook their heads. "Well, it is my duty on this earth, to teach you, so one day your expertise in verse will flow as freely as my love for the pig tailed girl!" He started spouting poetry about his love for her, and continued for several minutes, ending in a dramatic pose that would rival John's.

After collecting himself, he stood up, and said very softly, so anyone spying on them couldn't hear. "I will pay anyone an adequate amount of money for any information on my pigtailed goddess. Name, number, address? I have seen her at this university, so I now know that she is infatuated enough with me to drag herself to this wretched school to be near me. Did you know someone had the nerve to laugh at me when I asked about her to several of your teachers?"

The class kept quiet, afraid of what would happen if they told that his "Pig tailed goddess" was actually Kuno's rival, Ranma. Someone in the back raised their hand.

"How adequate will this payment be for pictures of her?"

Kuno stared coldly at the hand raiser. "Nabiki Tendo. Why have you sneaked into my class?"

Nabiki smiled. "I wanted to see what kind of teacher you were, Kuno. Seems you aren't as qualified as I thought you might be. In my Accounting class, we spend time b learning /b , not bribing students." Cait noticed Zeppo was looking dreamily at Nabiki, and dazedly waving at her. "H-hi N-Nabiki!" he stuttered. Nabiki didn't hear, as she was looking at a certain wrinkled someone zooming into the room.

Cherry zoomed in, right on time, knocking out Kuno. The students perked up. Nabiki sighed. "Don't do that, he still has a class to teach." The students moaned.

Cherry pulled out a bottle labeled "Cologne's Lil' spray bottle of instant consciousness." He sprayed it over Kuno, and counted twenty seconds on his watch. Kuno came to, right on the dot.

"What happened?" he said, drowsily. Noticing he was still in his class, he immediately composed himself, and shooed Cherry and Nabiki out of the room. Noticing time was running out he announced the homework. "Now class," Kuno proclaimed "We didn't have much of a class today, so I will give you an easy assignment. He started to write on the board. "To see your experience in the art of poetry, you will each write a poem. The topics are: An epic poem about a handsome kendo champion and a beautiful pigtailed princess, a dramatic poem about a attractive kendo artist and a lovely pigtailed goddess, a comic poem about a good-looking kendo artist and his gorgeous pigtailed wife, or..." he smiled "A romance poem about an astonishingly attractive kendo artist, and his love life with a beauteous pig-tailed girlfriend!"

The class stared in silence.

Kuno was confused. "Don't you like that assignment?" They remained quiet. "The best ones will be recited to my steady girlfriend, the pig-tailed girl, in person! Doesn't that sound nice? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" They remained still. Kuno was starting to get annoyed.

Cait summoned up some courage, and raised her hand. "We don't like it because it's all a get-together of you and the pig-tailed girl."

Kuno grabbed his sword. "Now you DIEEEEE!" He threw something at her. Cait picked it up. At first she was afraid it would be a bouquet of roses, like what he did to Ranma, but instead it was a piece of paper. She gasped at what was written on it.

"N...No! You... this can't be ...no!" Cait covered her mouth in horror, and recoiled at the sight on the paper.

"That's right, Miss Wilson. Detention!" Kuno grinned evilly as Cait sank down in her seat.

7:30 PM, Friday.

Every single student, excluding one or two, was lined up outside. The people to be administering the detention were Inuyasha, Lum, Shampoo, and Ranma. They were smirking evilly (That happens a lot) at the students. Behind them was a huge red curtain. Lum stepped forward, and addressed the mass of pupils.

"Students of OFURT. You are here because you have been very naughty." She glared at many of the boys who had tried to grope her in the eye. "So we have cooked up a special detention for you!" She flew up to the top of the curtain, and pulled it down. The students gasped. On the other side were rows and rows of computers!

"Not so fast." Lum continued, shooing away the students running toward them.

"But I wanna read my favorite stories!" one whined. Lum ignored him, and after making sure all of them were a safe distance from the computers, Inuyasha and Ranma gave each of the students a number, and lined them up in numerical order.

Shampoo announced the rest of the instructions. "Now students take co...computer with own number on."

Cait sat down at a computer next to a boy with short chestnut hair and a black jacket. He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"My name's Nate. Who are you?"

"I'm Cait."

"No talk! Students now be hush-hush!" Shampoo yelled loudly. "Now you look at screen. See it is having visu...visualation thing."

Cait stared intently at the screen, which was changing from blue to green. Someone in front of her was trying to exit it, wanting to get to the internet.

"EEEEE!" was heard, and the student scooted back from the computer quickly, holding his hand which had been clutching the mouse. It appeared to be burned...but how...

"Students now notice that if you try to stop computer it shock you! Also if you turn away or close eyes, it also shock!" Cait felt the sudden urge to look away. She stole a glance to her right, along with most of the other students, only to feel a burning sensation coming from her hand, and rippling through her arm. "EEEEE!" was heard around the group, as Shampoo smiled.

Ranma took over then. "Make sure you keep your eyes on the screen, and don't look away!"

Assorted "EEEEE!"'s were heard throughout the group. Cait looked at the screen. It looked like a Chibi-Cait was on the screen! Entranced, Cait peered closer.

"Alright, if you've ever written a Mary-sue, you should be seeing a Chibi-version of yourself on the screen. I almost forgot something!" Ranma slapped his head in frustration. "Make b sure /b you put on your head phones!"

Cait looked around for a pair, only to be shocked again. (EEEEE!) "They're on the right of your moniter, just reach towards them, reach..." Everyone tried to find their headphones without looking away, though a couple "EEEEE"'s were heard. After they secured their head phones (Or as Cait supposed, since she was still staring at her screen, Ranma spoke again, only it was muffled this time, by the headphones.

"This is our new way of punishing students, thanks to that ridiculous rule saying we aren't allowed to hurt them ourselves. So at least it won't be US hurting your, oh well, just keep on staring at your screen, you should probably be seeing someone on the screen, probably someone of the oppisite sex, and even more probably someone you may have... written a Mary-sue about with you? Am I right? You know I am."

Cait noticed a Chibi Inuyasha standing next to the Chibi-Cait.

"I should probably stop announcing this, since it'll be different for all of you, but it will make those characters the oppisite of what you made them. Like, if you wrote some totally OOC fic of Sessho-maru (We seem to use his anti-socialness a lot around here) and made him all lovey-dovey with you, (God, who would want that?) then he would be even more nasty and destructive and overall mean than normal! How is that possible? I don't know. Good luck!"

Cait, having absorbed very little of Ranma's instructions, was busy staring at the screen. Chibi-Cait was smiling at Chibi-Inuyasha, and trying to put her arm around him. Chibi-Inuyasha slapped her arm away. Cait could feel a burning sensation on her arm.

"Did I forget to tell you that anything happening to your Chibi self happens to you?" Cait heard Ranma's voice. Darn it. Judging by what went on in her fics, this was going to get pretty nasty.

Chibi-Inuyasha proceeded to kick Chibi-Cait in the shins several times, before stomping on her, "Demon begone"-ing her, and various other attacks. Cait lost track of time, her whole body ached from beatings, and also shockings from looking away.

It was such a long, long time before she heard Lum shout "Time's up!" and the Chibi-Cait and Chibi-Inuyasha on the screen vanished.

Cait had been one of the lucky ones, with only bruises and shallow cuts. Cait's Sues had stopped at kissing, but she could guess from the wounds who the lemon-writers in this crowd were. One girl's arm had been broken in several places, another couldn't walk, and a boy (Cait guessed he was the one who wrote the infamous Benten/Lum) was just flopped on the grass, twitching.

"I never knew a University could be so violent..." Cait mused to herself, struggling to walk back over to where the rest of the students and teachers were gathering.

The teachers who had been administering the detention were acting uncannily cheerful. Ranma smiled at them. "Has any one learned anything from your detention?" The students mumbled yes. "Are you going to make more of an effort in the future not to get one?" They nodded their heads automatically, too weary to argue. "Good. Now anyone who still feels up to it may go to the dance."

Cait flopped down on her bed, too exhausted to move. She, like everyone else, had not even bothered to go to the dance, instead she had been trying to get back to her floor using the stairs. The elevators were broken somehow. Some students had collapsed, but no one had as far to climb as the fifth floor except the girls on Cait's floor, and the boys on the other side. As she lay down on her bed, ready to fall asleep, even though it was only nine, one thought crossed her mind.

"I don't think all of the teachers have our best interests in mind. . ."


	6. Chapter 6

School was really getting into full swing at The Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi. They still hadn't found a suitable substitute teacher for "In character or Out of Character," and were running out of options. Characters no one had ever heard of were recruited, and the "Only Rumiko Takahashi's characters as teachers" rule was broken. Before the second week was over, Tetsuo, Urd, Mokona, Vegeta, and Ryoko had all gotten a shot at substituting until the real teacher was found... who WAS the real teacher anyway? They were all kicked out, though, as each one with the exception of Mokona, who just kept saying "Puu!" ended up blowing up part of the class room. All maimed/mortally wounded/broken boned students were still recovering. The faculty had an emergency on Friday and decided it was better to stick to Rumiko Takahashi's violent substitute teachers, because we did need more. Kisa reported to Cait what it had been like trying to force those teachers into Anger management counseling! After a few too many imploded heads, electrocuted people, blown up people, and more blown up people, the staff decided to let them get away without it, and made them leave, deciding never again to let another writer's characters into the sacred University. They had cleaned out the last of the outside evil, and everyone was safe.

Or so they thought.

An evil cackle was heard echoing through the halls in the middle of the night, to whomever or whatever was up to hear it. It grew louder, until the entire seventh floor was awakened by the maniacal laugh to end all maniacal laughs.

A sleep-deprived Inuyasha ran out into the corridor, trying to find the culprit and torture him slowly and painfully in vengeance for disturbing his beauty-sleep. He turned around and walked back up the corridor, trying to find out where it had been coming from. Unable to find the culprit he started back to his room, puzzled.

Another evil cackle was heard from the other end of the corridor, echoing throughout the staff floor.

Saturday

Cait and Pia were sitting on the floor with their books and notes out, studying. Their first test in "In Character or Out of Character" was Monday, and so far they had learned many things, such as how to levitate rocks, how to say "Puu" with emphasis, how to make various potions and medicines, how weak and pathetic you all are, and why Tenchi deserves Ryoko more than Aeka. They had yet to learn anything relating to the subject except what Miroku had taught them. Cait flipped the next page, despairing in how stupid this all was, as each substitute was contributing 1/6 of the test to his/her class, and wondering how hard it would be to bring an F- average to passing in the limited time they had in the trimester.

Pia was quizzing her. "All right, so what are three words that describe Mary-sues?"

"Obnoxious...Irritating...um...Annoying?"

"That works!" Pia crossed off the last question on her sheet. "Let's take a break, now. I'm tired of working!" She stood up, and opened the door. A squirt of water greeted her.

"Hey, what's the big idea!" Cait, irritated because she would have to change her back now, looked out the door. "Weird. No one's there."

A scream was heard from the dorm next door, and a loud obscenity a couple seconds afterwards from the one after that. "I wonder who could be doing that..." Cait absentmindedly murmured, before moving to close the door once more. A loud voice startled her, and she frantically looked up and down the corridor for the source of it.

"All Jusenkyo cursed will bow to me, supreme master of Jusenkyo springs! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHA!" A fat man with a starred hat and a megaphone was standing in the middle of the hall with a pail of water and a plastic squirt gun.

"EEEEEK! This is a GIRL'S DORM!" Several girls started running after the man with vengeance in their eyes and mallets in their hands.

"Oh, you will no hurt me, for I here have magic water in pail, yes?" The girls stopped. The Jusenkyo Guide smiled in a very unsettling way.

"What's the problem here?" Akane suddenly appeared behind the Guide, crossing her arms in a "taking-no-crap" kind of way.

The Guide backed away from Akane. "Aiyaa! Mallet girl!" He smiled sneakily again, and, with gloved hands, filled the plastic squirt gun he was holding with water from the bucket. "You no bother me for this is water from. . ." pausing for effect, he did a dramatic pose, holding the water up high "OOC-NIICHUAN!"

"OOC-niichuan?" Akane grabbed him by the collar. "What's it supposed to do?"

The Jusenkyo guide, realizing there was no where to run, began to explain. "OOC-niichuan is only temporarily lasting one hour, but in one hour it take worst OOC fic ever written with character and make it act like that for one whole hour! Is a too-too terrible threat to all character! And I. . ." pausing once more for dramatic effect, he held up the squirt gun full of OOC-niichuan "Have the only. . ."

Akane didn't give him a chance to finish his statement, but tipped the bucket over onto him.

"AIYAA! WHAT YOU DO! WHAT YOU. . ." he suddenly went limp and fell to the ground. All the girls who had gathered in the hall way watching them started to walk away when he suddenly rose with a glow in his eyes.

"Ranma-chan. . . I have always desired you. . . come to me!" Akane kicked through the roof, but incidently that made him crash through the six and seventh floor ceilings also. "That should keep him out of the way for one hour at least. . ." she grumbled.

Ranma poked his head through the hole in the ceiling. "Hey, Akane! I can understand trashing the students' floors, but why did you make a hole through the staff floor?" A couple excited girls quickly wrote down that the staff floor was the sixth. Cait started wondering what was on the seventh. . .

Before she had time to think about it, strange smoke started pouring in from the ceiling. "You fool! You crashed the guide through the seventh floor too!" Ranma yelled at Akane. Akane was already running away toward the stairs. "Get out, quick!" Ranma jumped down to their floor, and picked up some loose boards, trying to plug the hole. When the smoke persisted, he started running too. "Everyone, get out! If you get caught near here. . ." the girls couldn't hear the rest of his sentence as he jumped out the window into the pool. A female voice shouting obscenities was heard coming from the pool's general direction, followed by an "Oh, my pigtailed goddess!" and an inter-planetary kick. Everyone stared after him.

Then they all panicked.

"AAAAAH!"

The girls started running everywhere. Some hurried to the two elevators, which, incidentally, had both been broken by a certain angry half-demon who had had too many attempts on his sanity by fangirls, and decided it was better to kill them all. After a couple body slams from an inflatable Kotatsu-neko he had finally given it up and went to his anger management counseling session, but the elevators were broken in the process, and currently stuck between the first and second floors.

Cait and the rest of the girls on her floor ran to the stairs and cambered down five flights of stairs until they were safely out of the building. The sight that greeted their eyes was. . . well. . . hard to describe. Almost all of the students were running around, screaming for no particular reason. Some were trying to escape the building's proximity as fast as they could, but they were caught by the "no-students-shall-escape-from-school" force field.

The rest of the students tried to find somewhere to hide, or someone to hide behind, and ran off in search of those as fast as they could. Kaede was standing with some of the faculty, having what looked like an emergency meeting. Cait, along with Kisa, Nate, and a girl that was a Hybrid demon named Kat, decided to spy on them.

From what it looked like from behind the bush all four of them were hiding, Kaede was pacing frantically, while Lum frantically flew to and fro. "What will the students do if they find out about the curse on the seventh floor?" Lum less-than-playfully asked her.

"Alas..." Kaede looked mournfully downwards. "They are already terrified enough without knowing about the true horror of the seventh floor. With the added panic, they may... no, let's not go there. We must hope for the best. Maybe no one was around, and maybe there was no one to be affected by it... let us pray so."

Cait, Kisa, Nate, and Kat silently crept away to avoid getting caught spying on them. "What could the curse do?" Kat mused out loud. "What could be horrid enough to alarm the entire school-including the teachers to death? I mean, it can't be THAT scary, can it?" A huge bang was heard, coming from the top of the building. "AAAAAH!" the entire student body screamed as they ran, frightened out of their lives.

Cait was running to take shelter from the mysterious horror that had been released by the explosion in the seventh floor, but then something struck her. A cement block that had fallen from the seventh floor ceiling, to be exact. Then something else struck her. Inuyasha was digging a fallout shelter, and a spray of dirt had struck Cait in the face. But then, one more thing struck her.

"Pia's still up there!"

Cait ran up the first few flights of stairs, stepped quickly up the third and fourth, and panted slowly up the fifth floor's stairs. "What I will do for that rabid squirrel. . ." Cait grumbled, as she ran to her room's door. It was already open, and Pia was nowhere to be found. "P...Pia!" Cait exclaimed, running back out into the hall, all tiredness escaping as quickly as a rabid squirrel can catch an unladen swallow carrying a coconut.

Pia the rabid squirrel was huddling under a water fountain, backing away from something pouring down from the hole in the ceiling. It looked like green jello mixed with green soup mixed with lime green icicle treats. Cait ran over to Pia the rabid squirrel and picked her up, while starting to run to the stairs. The green goop blocked her path, and started bubbling furiously. Cait screamed, and ran around panicked for several seconds, until she started noticing the gooey green was acting weird. It was taking the shape of...

Cait started running, while screaming her head off, hoping someone would hear as she ran feverishly around, searching for any way to get out of the way of this horrible atrocity, which had assumed the shape of...

A certain insane Jusenkyo guide under the influence of OOC-niichuan, all covered in slimy green ooze, and standing behind him was a certain perverted Happosai, clutching green tinted lingerie, covered with green ooze from head to toe.

Cait found a window, and without hesitation got up onto the sill, poised to jump down five floors in blind panic, to escape whatever horrors the two green ghouls behind her were planning. "The horror! The horror!" she cried.

Silently, she wondered what was so particularly frightening about a green Jusenkyo guide under the influence of OOC-niichuan and Happosai. Suddenly she felt a pair of perverted gooey hands clutching her chest, accompanied by another pair on her shoulders. A ghoulish snicker followed. "If I can't have Ranma-chan...she will do... muwahahaha..."

Cait shrieked and ran away from them.

Green-goo Happosai and Jusenkyo Guide flew through the air after her, while moaning ghoulishly. "Waaaaaggaaaaa..." the Jusenkyo guide muttered, reaching Cait. She slapped him, and jumped without hesitation down five stories, clutching Pia. "EEEEEEEEEEK!" she squealed, as she was heading downwards. 50 feet, 30, 10, 5...

Cait woke up in a soft bed. Snapping awake, she sat up and looked around her to see where she was. The last thing she remembered were those disgusting gooey Happosai and Jusenkyo guides, and jumping... oh.

She was in the infirmary. Numerous other students were in the beds surrounding her, with various injuries. Many had broken bones, arms in slings, or limbs that looked like they were about to fall off. One had a neck brace. Cait examined her own injuries. On leg was in a cast, her other ankle was bandaged, and her shoulder looked quite banged up too. Not very bad for falling five stories. Cait noticed that her hair was slightly wet too, so she must've fallen into the pool. That explained a lot, like her still being alive.

Suddenly she sat up, remembering the ooze zombies that had been chasing her. "What happened to Happosai and the Jusenkyo guide!" she shouted, to no one in particular.

"Is something wrong?" A man in a white coat with a name tag reading 'Dr. Tofu' came up to her, holding a try full of long, pointy instruments. "Do you need some more painkiller?"

"N...No thank you..." Cait muttered, eyeing the sharp needles fearfully. "Do you know what happened? To the green-"

Dr. Tofu cut her off. "Shh! Don't speak of their greenness in this sanctuary from their evil!" After glancing to see if no one was listening, he sighed and continued to talk. "I was too busy hiding beneath a bush to notice..." Cait looked blankly at him, while Dr. Tofu kept shivering, cringing at the thought. "Here's some insta-heal. Cologne and I invented it. It will heal your injuries in 24 hours."

"Cool!" Cait exclaimed as she swallowed the cup Dr. Tofu handed to her. It tasted like Altoids and Listerine mixed together. "But I wish I knew what happened to those green gooze guys..." she sighed.

"I know what happened to them." A student in the bed next to her said softly. Cait looked over at the girl lying down on the bed next to her. "My name's Lenore. I was there. I saw."

Cait leaned forward as Lenore began to tell of what had happened to the green gooze ghouls. "I was trying to get out of the dorm lobby, last of all those rushing out. Out in the air outside there was a chance, even with concrete slabs falling left and right. Suddenly, when I'm out and almost to shelter, I heard this freaky laughing. Then there was this gigantic crash, and from above me, there comes this girl falling out of the fifth floor. She landed in the pool, I guess, I wasn't watching..."

Cait interrupted. "That must've been me! I fell out of the fifth story! What happened after that?"

"I'm glad you're all right." Lenore continued. "After that, well, I couldn't see very well as I was trying to find somewhere to hide, and that's the thing! No one knew what they were running from either, except the staff! So, there I was, running around in panic like everyone else without somewhere to hide and then..." Lenore grimaced. "THEY appeared out of a window."

"What then?" Cait inquired, hoping to find out what had happened to the green gooze ghouls, (ooh that sounds cool) when suddenly someone burst through the doors of the infirmary.

"Good news, students!" A heavily bandaged Tatewaki Kuno announced proudly while striding in, accompanied by several stretchers carrying various teachers. "I have vanquished the green evils with my own strength!"

"Liar! We did!" Ranma-chan, from a stretcher, struggled to talk through all the bandages.

Inuyasha glared at him, also on a stretcher "You didn't do anything, while we were fighting you were writing a sonnet to a tree! I'm warning you, when I'm out of all this, you're going to get it."

"It wasn't just a tree! It was the very image and essence of my beloved pigtailed goddess!" Kuno suddenly noticed Ranma-chan. "Oh, pigtailed girl! How I have longed for you!" He tried to embrace Ranma while being kicked in the head.

"Really. You have no talent whatsoever for seducing his female you desire." Miroku noted, loudly. "You need to refine your technique, to become a successful..." Miroku was interrupted be a kick from Ranma. "DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS!"

Lenore sat up in bed, only to be restricted by a sling and leg cast. "Miroku!" she cried out, reaching for him. The crashes and bangs following that resulted in several collapsed cots and part of the ceiling falling in.

Cait rolled over, wincing on her broken leg, and dozed off. It had been a long day. Time to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Cait, Lenore, and the other hurt students were healed by the next day, thanks to Dr. Tofu's Insta-heal. Since most of the building they had been using to sleep in was destroyed, the students were told to get their stuff out of it so they could reconstruct the building. However, when they surveyed the building's damages, it turned out that it would cost less just to build a new one. So, after all the students had gotten their belongings out, the construction began.

Unfortunately for the students, whoever was in boss had deemed that the students needed a little exercise, and that constructing large structures built character.

"Hey Cait, can you help me with these bricks?" Kisa frowned, and struggled with the weight of the wheelbarrow she was carrying, loaded with large concrete slabs.

Cait got up from where she had been painting part of a wall that had already been partially constructed. "Here," she said, picking up several, and taking them over to where Nate was laying them sloppily.

"Nate, what are you doing? You have to make them even! This is your new dorm room, not mine." Sango was walking around, checking to see that the students were working and not talking and lazing around.

Nate muttered under his breath. "It's not your, that's for sure. You get to stay in a 5 star hotel downtown!" It was true. A unanimous vote from the faculty had deemed necessary the requirement of adequate residences of the staff during emergencies like this. Now they were all livin' it up at a nearby 550$ a night hotel, being paid for by, that's right, the student's tuition money.

"I didn't know we had to pay to go here!" Cait whispered to Nate, evading Sango's watchful eye.

"We didn't have to until the other day. Now they'll be billing us monthly, or at least that's what I've heard. Who knows. Maybe we'll get out of it! I mean, it's not like we're here by choice."

Cait thought about that for a while as she helped Nate lay the bricks. Glancing at her watch after a bit, she noticed it was almost time for lunch. Kisa and Zeppo, tired from applying wallpaper to the partially completed lobby, walked over to where they were talking together. "I wonder what we're going to get to eat for lunch."

Lenore popped up from nowhere. "Maybe they'll get pizza!" she said brightly.

They all turned suddenly, as Sango's loud voice boomed through a mega-phone. "Can you hear me, students? Good. We're about to break for lunch. Please put all equipment before eating, or every single one of you will have detention." She glared at them to let them know she wasn't kidding. As they all quickly put away all the materials and rushed over to where many picnic tables were set up, and seated themselves. A wooden buffet table was set up nearby, laden with coolers and cardboard boxes. Several students got up to see what was in it, and get some food, but suddenly fell down, twitching. The rest noted several metal poles standing around the table, labeled clearly "invisible student fence."

"If any of you want to eat today, you will orderly line up and come up one at a time to get your food!" Sango barked. "Because of you, I'm missing the all-you-can-eat buffet special that the rest of your teachers are going to!"

After eating, it was back to work. Cait worked with Kat to fit and secure two door frames in the lobby, which currently was the only room anyone could agree on.

"We need to have at lest six elevators, and twelve floors!" Argued Zeppo. "We all need plenty of room! This way, everyone will have two rooms all to themselves!"

"Like that'll ever work. What we need is two large, wide stories with four sets of stairs. That will be plenty for all the students, as we don't know how to build elevators or many, many floors on top of each other." Kisa countered.

Cait nervously inquired "So what are we going to build if you don't agree on something? Kisa's made more sense, but I like the sound of Zeppo's building, though it is a bit improbable... let's just flip a coin! Kisa, tails you lose. Zeppo, heads I win. OK?" They both nodded. Cait produced a penny, and proceeded to flip it. "Oh, looks like heads! Sorry, guys, I win."

Kisa and Zeppo looked at each other. "How did that flipping thing work again?"

Cait pulled out her plan for the building.

"That's it! A little to the left for the second spiral staircase, though!" Cait shouted orders to the students building, while designing plans for the third and fourth floors on a table she had set up. "This is going to be the best building, especially since the school is paying for the costs of materials! Should I make the steps marble with brass railings, or carpeted with crystal?"

The students took shifts between construction and leisure. Someone had bribed Sango to leave them alone, and she was off with the rest of the staff at a bowling alley. Since there were no classes (they had been postponed until further notice) they could goof off all day while the students worked on a new dorm room for them all.

The two-story building was beginning to take shape. It was more wide the tall, and the concrete blocks were being currently being covered with marble coating. Columns were placed around the edges of the steps leading up to the front double-doors.

Cait wondered to herself "How did we build this?"

Kisa pulled out her copy of "Putting together big mansions and dorms 4 dummies" as she tested out the stair case's hard wood banister. "This says we should apply three layers of varnish, not two. Make sure it's in hard enough to stay, also."

After taking a shift on laying bricks for the second story, Cait put up wall paper until it was time for 8:00 break. Everyone was so tired from working all afternoon, that they forgot the teacher had to come back and check on them before they went to bed.

"WOW!" a visibly shocked Kagome exclaimed, looking at the partially completed marble dormitory. "I want to live here! Good job, students!"

"I couldn't have believed they could have made anything worth living in, but it turns out I'm wrong." Kikyo looked unkindly at the students. "Well, it's better than anything I could have made... I guess it's an satisfactory dormitory.."

Not everyone was as enthusiastic about it as Kagome and Kikyo were. (Well, Kagome at least)

"YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU BUILT THIS... this dwelling... in one afternoon?!" An irritated Ataru was gaping up at the gigantic partially completed marble structure. "I demand we have a staff meeting!" The entire faculty huddled together, muttering furiously. After almost half an hour, Kaede called attention to her and proceeded to speak to the students.

"The faculty of the Official Fanfiction University of Rumiko Takahashi has deemed this building unacceptable for a student dormitory."

Cait gasped. "No way!" she blurted out "Not after all the work we did on it!"

Kaede glared at her. "Do not interrupt. As I was about to tell you, we will make sure your building does not ahem go to waste. Once you finish it, we will use it as a new dining hall and theater. Several students nodded their approval, saying things like 'That sounds ok...'

"However." Kaede continued once more. "It will be a staff building. Yes, that means..."

"NO STUDENTS ALLOWED!! HAHA!" Ranma was skipping everywhere, doing a happy dance. "Finally! Some peace of mind!!!!"

"Pigtailed goddess! I lo--" pound kick

"RANMAA!" Swarms of girls from the audience were rushing forward to him.

"AAAGH!" Ranma started running, with about 50 girls following in rapid pursuit.

Kaede sighed, annoyed by being disturbed once again. Motioning to the students to follow her, she led them away from the commotion until they were behind the half-done building.

"You will have only one class a day while you are building your new dormitory. Today is Myoga's class. It is 'Why you shouldn't just use Spell Checker/Grammar Correction/Thesaurus to make your writing good instead of proofreading.' Good luck." with that, Kaede left them sitting on the ground, and Myoga popped up out of no where.

"Welcome, students, to 'Why you shouldn't just use Spell Checker/Grammar Correction/Thesaurus to make your writing good instead of proofreading.' class. Where shall we start? I am sure you are all tired from constructing the staff's new lounge and bar, but you must compose your self for class." More students moaned, while Myoga ignored them.

"Shall I give you an example? Yes, that would be good, considering how tired you all are." Myoga popped a chalk board out of no where, and proceeded to write a paragraph on it. "There. A paragraph full of errors I'm sure." On the board was written the following paragraph:

One day in Nerima, a strtanger was wakling to the tendo dojo. it was a prety yong Girl wth purpel hair and a long dres. she nocked on he doar and soun tendo ansered. 'why... i'ts Riko1! COme in, Come in rIko. rAnma hass ben ecpecting yuo."" riko smild and wnt in to were evryone was sittng ni hte dojo and sid hi t htem. This is Riko, she si also ranmas' finace and wi'll be styng her fore a wile. akanee, yuo are no lnger ranm's finace. aKAne ran away n teras wile ranma was entrancd in his new gilr's beautie.

"As you can see," Myoga cleared his throat while the class stared at the board, wondering how someone can write something that bad with so many errors-was it possible? "Full of errors. But, what if, instead of proofreading, the author instead just used Spell Check, Grammar Correction, and the Thesaurus? Let's see." Myoga typed the paragraph up in Microsoft WordPerfect, and then clicked one after another, Spell Checker, Grammatik, and Thesaurus.

A/N- Using WordPerfect Spell Check and Grammatik, this is what I got:

One day in Nerita, a strangler was walling to the tends the dodos. It was a piety yong Girl with purple hair and a long dreg. She necked on hate Doran and soon tended angered. 'Why . . . I's Rito1! COMES in, COMES in Rito. Rama mass ben expecting Yup."" Rico smelled and want into where everyone was siting an a Ni hate dodo and sided hi t haem. This is Rico, she si also Rama' finances and ill is stung her fore a wile. Achaean, some yaps are no lager the ram's finance. Achaean ran away n Texas wile Rama was entrained in his new gill's beauties.

The class was gaping at the passage when Myoga spoke again. "It turns out even worse if the author tries to sound smart and uses Thesaurus for big words they don't understand."

One era in Nerita, a throttler was partitioning to the cultivates the dodos. It was a devout yong Girl thanks to purple whisker and a prolong dreg. She necked on abominate Doran and momentarily minister to angered. 'Why . . . I's Rito1! MARCHES in, PROGRESSES in Rito. Rama accumulation ben requiring Yup."" Rico whiffed and neediness into whereabouts one and all was locating an a Ni abhorrence dodo and sheathed hi t haem. This is Rico, she si to boot Rama' subsidizes and inauspiciously is inflamed her fore a wile. Achaean, approximately squeals are no lager the ram's funds Achaean administrated aside n Texas maneuver Rama subsisted entrained in his innovative gill's distinction.

"Holy crap..." Cait murmured.

Myoga nodded. "Have I convinced you that proofreading is the way?" The students nodded. "Spell Checker and Grammar Correction and Thesaurus are useful, but if used without caution, can lead to disaster. Please, when you use them, look at the choice selected before clicking replace. Thank you. You may go now." Myoga and his chalk board and his computer disappeared into nowhere.

Cait and her friends went back to the tents they were camping out in to go to sleep. Cait was sharing one with Kisa, Kat, and Lenore. After they shut off the lights, Shinobu ordered everyone to go to sleep. Cait thought about the day they had just finished, and the half finished building nearby. She smiled sneakily as she fell asleep.

Did the staff seriously think they would make the building half as nice, now that they knew it wasn't for them?


End file.
